Random Ramblings

Reflections on my walk with God


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Trying to pray

The kitchen vent rattles and clatters
The sun burns golden through tightly shut eyes
Seconds tick away
A door slams

I’m trying to pray
The quiet I long for escapes me
Dirty dishes wait patiently
The laundry pile beckons

I am trying to pray
Behind closed eyes
The needs of friends and family
Situations local and global
My mind is wandering

Thoughts of what I have to do today

I’m trying to pray
Thanks to God for the new day
Thanks for prayers answered
Requests for healing
For answers to questions

I’m trying to pray
But there is a list of jobs to be done at home
Surrounded by the family clutter
And the messiness of life

I’m trying to pray
Thankful for my own health
Praying for those not so fortunate

I’m trying to pray
But my mind wanders to the pile of marking
The emails to be answered
Lessons to prepare
Work engulf my thoughts

I’m trying to pray
Resting in God’s presence
Trusting Him with my problems

I am praying that
I will be at peace even as I plunge into the busyness
As I deal with the messiness
Remembering that this it not all that there is


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Juggling

Like slow motion or a freeze frame I see myself with all this “stuff” in the air above my head as I frantically try to keep everything going. …and then I remember I can’t juggle…..

And it all comes crashing down around me. …
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All that “stuff”.

Home, family, minor health issues and the main source of limitless stuff – work.
Assignments that need to be written, lessons that need to be planned, marking to be done, yet another meeting to attend, admin tasks…..
And another email pops into my inbox needing an immediate response.
And then there is the course that includes people from industry …we have to keep them sweet, even if it means cloning and becoming a contortionist. ..
It truly is endless.

What happens when I let it all drop?
Nothing really. Life goes on.
The stuff is still there.
The not yet started
the unfinished
the shoved to one side jobs are all still there.

No crisis results.

In the moment that I accept that I can’t actually keep juggling and give all the stuff over to God, my burden vanishes.
The stuff is still there, but now I can perhaps deal with it. Picking out the things that really do matter.
It really is more important to visit my Dad than to mark that work. It is more important to open my Bible than to open my email.

Jesus did not say “come to me and I will remove all your responsibilities, and leave you with nothing to carry”. No, he said His burden is light.

We are all called to carry our crosses, we are all called to work for the Kingdom, whatever our jobs may be.
Jesus did not promise life free of responsibility or work, He did promise to help us to carry the burdens.

Once again as has happened so many times before. My circumstances are unchanged but my attitude is completely changed. When I work in His strength and accept my circumstances, I can “do all things”.

When I am overwhelmed I have to remember that His hands are big enough. Unspoken- In Your Hands (Acoustic Performance):